They say nice guys finish last.
I’ve never really thought that was true. In my experience nice guys definitely get hurt more. I’ve experienced it, and while I can’t account for all of the details in situations I’ve only witnessed, I have seen it elsewhere too. But if it was due to the niceness I’ve never really been able to tell.
Whatever the reason, I’m not one to blame any “finishing last” on being nice. And even if it was the cause, I don’t really understand the alternative.
I mean I do get it, the mantra is to, in fact, not be a nice guy so that you don’t finish last. But at what cost? Maybe I’m crazy, but even if it was the case...finishing last seems a small price to pay for being a good person. And in my thinking, being a man I’m proud to be.
Recently it’s been amplified to me there’s some traits I really hold dear. I don’t say that to glorify my own character because I indeed have my share of shortcomings, but I say it, and write this, to continue to remind myself of the important things in life, even if it seems they’re the road less traveled at times.
This lets me really identify what I find important and why. They’re things I hold dear as who I am. Character that I try my hardest to show in my actions & words.
The other day I saw a t-shirt that read: In a world where you can be anything. How about being kind?
That’s it. Just be more kind. Something that’s always stuck with me is an old rule that says “a person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person.”
You can tell so much about someone by the way they treat others. And especially by the way they treat people who make a mistake, do something dumb, or just “get in their way”. But all in all, no matter the case, reacting with kindness tells a person so much more. And I hope people always see that in how I react but also just how I live.
Just do good. Go out of your way to be nice. React calmly and patiently to the things that don’t go your way. Kindness over all.
To me, kind and humble are the two most important things a person can be. Where kindness is most often the outward action or deeds or words. Humbleness is often both the deed or word or the withheld deed or word that honestly reflects a simple truth: “I am not better than anyone else”. There’s probably more to it than that and I don’t recall an immediate Webster’s definition right now but that is the gist.
It’s not talking about yourself or showing off things just for the attention it brings. And it’s not doing or saying things for the sole purpose of lifting yourself above others.
This attitude helps you lift others up and in this way can go hand in hand with kindness. Another way to think of it is really just having a mindset that puts others first. And I think that’s a pretty powerful and important trait for a person to have, and it truly has to come from within. When in doubt, just be humble.
It’s funny how as I think through these few qualities that are really important to me that they all run together in certain ways. When it’s said and done, forgiveness is just putting someone else first.
In this it’s humbling, that your feelings, sometimes strong ones of hurt or sadness, or even betrayal, come second. And it’s kindness that you’re willing to help the person who wronged you move on and feel better by your act of forgiveness.
Those are both powerful thoughts that can be incredibly hard, but they’re also important, and even more important is the ability to put them into actions with your forgiveness. Because forgiveness is far more than saying the words. It’s truly not holding onto the wrong that was done. It can take time and you can struggle with it, and that’s normal, but it’s a consistent effort to look past a wrong done to you and put it as far as the east is from the west. When you have that mindset, you’ll it’s both true humbleness & kindness put into action.
There’s most definitely more items I hold dear, but for whatever reason those are the three that have stood out to me lately. They’re three things that I have been trying to measure myself by and actively attempting to get better at them.
In my mind those three are some of the hardest traits to truly possess in your character, but it’s so important that we do, because those are nice guy traits, and when you’re a man with all of those qualities, I don’t think you finish last.