The Journal of J: The Dentist

Seems like every time someone mentions the dentist a crowd of people groan & moan. Ripping their clothes in agony. Screaming, crying, gnashing of teeth ensue. 

Yells and shouts from all directions come flying. 

“I hate the dentist!” 

“No I HATE the dentist!”


Frankly, I think you’re all a bunch of babies. 

As Kramer on “Seinfeld” says: “You’re a rabid anti-dentite!”


Now I could see how maybe you could not like the dentist if you don’t brush your teeth. Or if you just hate oral hygiene all together. Maybe your great-grandfather was killed by floss. 

But seriously, I love the dentist. Yes I enjoy brushing my teeth, but at the dentist, they clean them FOR ME. It’s like having a servant. Not only do they clean them, they polish them too! Wax on, wax off. They serve me refreshing, cold water through spritzer like I was a king. 

I always leave the dentist feeling refreshed. Sort of like I imagine my car feels after going through a car wash: immaculate, stupendous, rejuvenated. He also gives away freebees of floss, toothbrushes, and toothpaste. All he wants is you to have nice, clean teeth, and people vilify him for it. So here’s to the dentists, I wish we were supposed to see you more than twice a year, but alas, the anti-dentites might revolt. 

So there you have it, dentists are the real Tooth Fairies.