Your Valentine's Day Guide

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching.  It comes like an angel of darkness sweeping across the land, slaying those men who forgot Hallmark and Hershey's invented a Holiday in February. 

Heed the warning signs of red hearts and chocolate boxes.

A battle is upon us men of earth; it is time we rise to the occasion.

Valentine’s Day is not just the day we celebrate St. Valentine driving all the love out of Ireland. It is also the day men gallantly attempt to shower their darlings with enough Facebook worthy moments of flowers, chocolates, and date night adventures that Cupid himself is pleased.

The color of Valentine’s Day is red because of the blood shed during battle, not the color of love.

Do not wait till the hour is upon us to order flowers from 1-800-Proflowers, for same day delivery is not yet a thing.

It’s time to schedule deliveries, organize troops, and devise plans of action.

This Valentine’s Day don’t try to become Merlin and conjure up some V-Day magic at the last second.

This Valentine’s Day… be King Arthur.

Sit down at the round table and devise a battle plan even the Knights who say Ni couldn’t overthrow.

Just make sure your best friend Lancelot isn’t also planning a Valentine’s Day date for your Queen Guinevere. That could get awkward and you might have to kill your best friend.

So let’s get down to business (to defeat the Huns).

Below are my unfounded yet proven Valentine’s Day suggestions:

-       Mr. Originality.

Rarely is the cover of a song better than the original. And since you’re not Johnny Cash I suggest thinking up your own date idea. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t as good as someone else’s, what matters is that it’s your idea and it’s made especially for her. Just because a “traditional date” might be out to dinner at a nice restaurant and a movie doesn’t mean your date has to be.

Be different. Go to a roller rink, take her line dancing (it’s even better if dancing is something you don’t normally do), pack a picnic for the beach or for a hike. The options are there. Just think about what you guys would enjoy doing together.


-       Flowers are too easy.

If she likes flowers or doesn’t like flowers they’re a Valentine’s Day must. But that doesn’t mean you have to go buy a dozen roses and hand them to her when you walk in the door. Maybe she likes sunflowers. Maybe roses made of chocolate would be more fun (and useful). Maybe edible arrangements fruit in the shape of flowers for breakfast would be more special.

Whatever the choice, have fun with it. If you do go with normal flowers or roses, do it in a creative way. Wake up early and put them in her car. Have them delivered to work where she can show them off. Whatever the choice, make it a real surprise. Give some thought about what she will have to do with them after she receives them (does she take the bus home? Maybe work isn’t a great place to have them delivered).


-      A Letter is better.

I feel like for how appreciated this token can be it is the most often ignored by guys who, “don’t know what to say” or, “don’t like to write down feelings”.

Well it’s okay. Just suck it up and do it. You don’t have to craft a poem (bonus points if you do) just write what she means to you. We don’t say those things enough and its special when we do. It doesn’t matter if you think its stupid, she wont.


-       Give her your time.

Honestly this should apply any time you are spending time together, but especially on Lord Valentine’s Day.

Turn your phone on silent and put it down.

Football is over, baseball hasn’t started, and no one cares about non-playoff basketball. Twitter can wait, I won’t be posting that many statuses on Facebook you need to see, and unless your sister is giving birth no one really needs to get ahold of you.
Pay attention and be present … with presents if possible, which leads to...


-       Gifts for Gals.

I’m not a huge proponent of gifts for Valentine’s Day as monetary things shouldn’t be the main expression of your love. Don’t fall into the trap that what she wants is a gift. Or the trap that if you get her a great gift you’re off the hook for any of the other points in this post. There is a reason this one is last. Gifts are the cherry on top. They’re the dessert at the end of an amazing meal.

Take this figuratively and literally. Give her a fun day with you. Surprise her with some flowers or chocolates in an unexpected way, write her a note or make her a card with some heartfelt words, make sure when you’re together your focus is on her, and then, if you get her a gift, save it till the end of what will already be an amazing Valentine’s Day, and whatever you do don't give her a vacuum. 


There are my suggestions for conquering the upcoming battle of Valentine’s Day.

Let the street run red with chocolate heart boxes, and may you stand victorious on the battlefield of love.

Rule the day my fellow men, rule the day